My First Mom Injury

Well last Thursday I officially had my first "mom" injury.  Wednesday night I somehow slept on my right arm wrong and by the time I got up on Thursday morning I knew something was off.  It felt like my ribcage was crooked and I had a janky rib sticking into my shoulderblade.

So, I did what any idiot normal person would do - I started rotating my shoulder every which way and began popping my back and stretching all over the place.  This, of course, made everything worse.  I somehow managed to pinch a nerve in my rotator cuff and my entire right arm and shoulder went numb.  If I even tried to move it I was struck with a shooting pain from my elbow up to my back. 

I was going to wait it out and see if it got any better but when I realized that I wasn't even able to breastfeed my baby without screaming in pain, I knew I had to get myself looked at.

I somehow managed to get myself and Lyric dressed, crying out every time I had to lift my arm more than 6 inches.  Whimpering, I managed to get her in her carseat and off we went to the chiropractor.

However, when we got there, his sign said he was closed until January 2nd.

Trying not to cry, I looked around me.   I was either going to find a chiropractor to fix me or I was headed to the hospital.  I was NOT going to go back home in the condition I was in.  I managed to find another chiropractor on the same side of the street so we got back in the truck and drove over.  Once again, I somehow managed to get both the diaper bag and the carseat out of the truck.

This now begins the story of one of the most humiliating moments I have had in a long time.

I walked in, explained my situation to the receptionist, and told her that this was a "chiropractic emergency".  So the very nice woman grabbed the chiropractor and we walked into the other room where he began asking me questions about my medical history.  We chatted for a bit and my shoulder kept getting worse and worse.  I could hardly focus, the shooting pain was so intense.

Finally he acted like he was going to be able to adjust me but then I was given a clipboard with 5 pages to fill out.  Um.  Crap.  Hey buddy, I couldn't even raise my arm to shake your hand and you're giving me paperwork?!   I didn't want to be "that lady" though so I tried to fill out the first form.  Not two seconds after writing my name, Lyric starts screaming bloody murder.

I had interrupted her naptime so I knew this was going to happen.  So, I start rocking her carseat and shushing her while trying to fill out the godforsaken form.  Not happening.  She was PISSED.  And here I was, helpless and one-handed when all my baby is screaming for is for me to HOLD HER and I couldn't.  It was awful.

I grab the carseat in my left hand and round the corner where the receptionist is sitting.  I tell her that I can't fill out this form and my baby is screaming and I just need to get adjusted NOW please and thank you.  She grabs the clipboard from me, frowns and goes to get the doctor.

So here I am with a screaming baby and I'm in so much pain I can't take it.  I start bawling too.  Now here comes the receptionist and the doctor who are both looking at me like I'm a nut job.  And believe me I felt like it!  They ask me a couple more questions from the form as I sit on the ground, sobbing and one-handedly removing my hysterical 3-month old from her carseat.  I try to bounce her on my leg and suck it up but it's too late.  Once I start crying, I have to just get it all out.

So that's what I did.  I asked the doctor to just PLEASE ADJUST ME and make this pain go away so he had me lie on the table.  The receptionist held Lyric who finally began to calm down while I sobbed into this strange man's table.  HOW EMBARRASSING.

About 10 minutes later and a tear and snot stained me is finally feeling better.  Unfortunately the damage is done.  I'm humiliated at this point so now that my pain is subsiding I'm crying because I feel like a complete tool.  The receptionist is still bouncing Lyric around the room and I can tell she's going to start fussing again.  But the chiropractor then leads me (still sniffling) over to another table where he lays me down on several ice packs and covers me with a blanket.  I lay there, shivering and with tears running down into my ears while several other patients arrive.  Oh good god.  They ooh and aah over the baby while I'm lying on an iceberg trying to compose myself.  WHAT. A. DAY.

Moral of the story?  Don't carry all your crap (diaper bag, carseat, baby, etc) with just the one arm.  You will be off balance and someday your shoulder/arm will give up and it is not a good feeling!  The chiropractor told me that this was a really common area for new moms to have trouble with and to switch off which arm I use to carry Lyric and to use the stroller as much as possible.

Oh and even though this guy worked miracles with my damaged arm, I'm fairly certain I will never show my face there ever again.  Because now - I'm "that lady".